Wordless Thursday - Bahasa Mandarin

Tiba-tiba Cikgu Mandarin aku tegur dalam Facebook
Rindu agaknya -,-
Sumpah aku dah banyak lupa banyak apa yang dia ajar. 
Nasib baik Google tolong translate perkataan yang aku dah lupa

Muhammad Faris 'Azim


Wordless Wednesday - lah sangat | Kek Keju

Aku boring. Entah, tiba-tiba sahaja aku bersemangat untuk memasak. Bukan, membakar kek . Rasa macam best. Mungkin terpengaruh dengan MasterChef. Mungkin. Aku try lah buat. Cuba buat bantuan Pak Cik Google dan cari resipi. Agak simple.
Hasilnya agak memberansangkan. Lembut dan lembap. Macam span. Memang sedap


  • 4-5 keping slice cheese
  • 200 ml susu segar
  • 70 gram butter atau marjerin
  • 70 gram tepung gandum (diayak dahulu)
  • 70 gram gula
  • 5 biji telur
  • Beberapa titik esen vanilla


  1. Potong atau siat slice cheese kecil-kecil dan campurkan dengan susu segar
  2. Kemudian masukkan dlm periuk, gunakan api perlahan dan biarkan slice cheese tadi cair. kacau sentiasa.
  3. Masukkan butter dan kacau hingga larut, tutup api dan sejukkan sebentar.
  4. Asingkan putih telur dan kuning telur, pukul putih telur bersama gula hingga menjadi meringue.
  5. Didalam bekas lain pukul kuning telur hingga kembang dan masukkan kedalam adunan cheese tadi, masukkan tepung sedikit demi sedikit dan pukul lagi, pastikan adunan tidak berketul
  6. Akhir sekali campurkan merigue ke dalam adunan tadi dan berberapa titik esen vanila, gunakan cara kaup balik supaya adunan rata. glis acuan kek dengan marjerin dan alaskan dengan kertas. masukkan adunan kek di dalam acuan .
  7. Bakar pada suhu 170 darjah selama 20 minit dan turunkan suhu 140 darjah selama 40 minit, gunakan acuan kek berukuran 20cm dan letakkan sedikit air di bawah dulang pembakar, cara bain marie, untuk mendapatkan kek yang elok teksturnya.
  8. Hias ikut kreativiti sendiri atau dimakan begitu sahaja. kek ini lembut dan ringan. tak rugi mencubanya

Sebelum tu, aku ada buat jugak kek. Kek Coklat. Tapi, rasa kek OK. Tapi, icing yang aku buat terlalu MANIS. Rasa macam makan gula, Dan itu yang spoil kek tu. Macam apa lagi!


Muhammad Faris 'Azim


Physical and Psychological Effects of Anabolic Steroids


 "Anabolic steroids" is the familiar name for synthetic substances related to the male sex hormones (androgens). They promote the growth of skeletal muscle (anabolic effects) and the development of male sexual characteristics (androgenic effects), and also have some other effects.In reality,anabolic steroids are the classic performance enhancing drugs;associated with Soviet Block athletes in the Cold War,cheating at the Olympics and a range of unpleasant side effects.The term "anabolic steroids" has became a well known all parts of the world, although the proper term for these compounds is "anabolic-androgenic" steroids.

Anabolic steroids were developed in the late 1930s primarily to treat hypogonadism, a condition in which the testes do not produce sufficient testosterone for normal growth, development, and sexual functioning. The primary medical uses of these compounds are to treat delayed puberty, some types of impotence, and wasting of the body caused by HIV infection or other diseases.During the 1930s, scientists discovered that anabolic steroids could facilitate the growth of skeletal muscle in laboratory animals, which led to use of the compounds first by bodybuilders and weightlifters and then by athletes in other sports. Steroid abuse has become so widespread in athletics that it affects the outcome of sports contests.

More than 100 different anabolic steroids have been developed, but they require a prescription to be used legally in the United States. Most steroids that are used illegally are smuggled in from other countries, illegally diverted from U.S. pharmacies, or synthesized in clandestine laboratories.Regarding of that,there are some drugs associated with anabolic steroid for our information  such as diuretics,tamoxifen,somatropin and thyroxine.

Basically,body builders,aspiring athletes and ‘keep-fit’ fanatic are some of the more obvious groups involved.In fact, a larger UK study of 1659 gym participants from across the country was also described in 1993; it revealed a 7.7 per cent incidence of anabolic steroid use amongst men and women but the incidence was 9.1 per cent amongst men alone.

In addition,anabolic steroids are also abused primarily by schoolchildren especially boys, but since the early 1990s, their abuse by girls has dramatically increased.In 1997, about 175,000 teenage girls reported taking anabolic steroids at least once within the past year, an increase of 100 percent since 1991.The rate among teenage boys has also continued to rise, to the current estimated level of 325,000.An investigation into the drug-taking habits of 7722 UK pupils aged 15 and 16 years old in 1996 found that 1 per cent girls and 2.2 per cent boys had used steroids on at least one occasion.In general, a summary of surveys of secondary schoolchildren in the USA showed that between 1.4 per cent and 10.9 per cent of them had used anabolic steroids.
Apart of this issue,anabolic steroids has became a common used by people all parts of the worlds.Yet,many people don’t know there are side effects of anabolic steroid abuse in terms of phychological and physical on human body that have been discovered and proved by scientific investigation of scientist among of the world.


“Physical Effects of Anabolic Steroids”

        First and foremost, anabolic steroids causes physical negative effects to the users. Some of these effects can be seen easily through simple observation on the users of anabolic steroids. For instance, these users will face headache and stomach ache, rapid weight gain, yellowing of the skin, swelling in the feet and legs, shakes and tremors due to decreased in joint flexibility, body odour and acne breakouts. However, if the users continues taking the anabolic steroids, some more major negative effects including damage of liver and kidney, increase in blood pressure and cholesterol increasing chances of heart disease, depressed immune system increasing risk for infection and might even cause severe nosebleed.

        Furthermore, these negative side effects can be specifically classified to males and females. Anabolic steroids affect males and females in different way especially their reproductive system and also their physical appearances.

        In males, hair loss leading to baldness, gynecomastia and water retention can be a major problem. Besides, males will experience breast enlargement, prostate enlargement and shrunken testicles. At the same time, anabolic steroids can cause low sperm motility and lowered sperm counts production in testes. However, these steroids results in increased sex drive among the males even though their sexual performance are decreased greatly. This means that males will face difficulty getting and maintaining erection. This will soon cause sterility in males

        On the other hand, females will also face specific negative effects caused by anabolic steroids to their sex that vary compared to males. The most general effects that females face that is affected by anabolic steroids are irregular or abnormal menstrual period. Specifically in females, the obvious physical change would be increased growth of facial and body hair, male pattern balding and they will also face decreased breast size. Besides, enlargement of clitoris also occurs. At the same time, females will also face deepening of voice. This can be explained as females will experience development of Adam’s apple which points to more manly behaviour. Finally, as the worst effect similar to males that females will also face is infertility.

        Last but not least, teens also are not exceptional for effects of anabolic steroids. For example, teens will stunt in their growth due to early closure of the growth centres in long bones. This will affect their childhood’s time because of the anabolic steroids. Moreover, teens also will face the same problem as the male and female; the acne problem. However, teens will face the most severe acne to their body and face.

        So, there are so many negative physical effects of the anabolic steroids to the all ages including males, females and teens. Then, let us look into the psychological effects on the next page.

“Psychological Effects of Anabolic Steroid”

The anabolic steroid has a variety of effect in terms of psychology whether positive effect or negative  effect. The effects depend on the duration of the exposure to anabolic steroid, type of anabolic steroid and the amount or doses of anabolic steroid. However the effect of anabolic steroid depends mostly on the age and body mass of a person since there is a big difference between teenagers and adults and between male and female. Most of the users of anabolic steroid are athletes that use it to enhance their performance in field while forgetting the psychological side effect of it , this is among the main reason these people abuse the anabolic steroid since they only see the positive effect on their body while forget the negative side effect on their mind. So we decided to discuss more on the negative effects of anabolic steroids.

Among the negative side effects of overdose anabolic steroid is the increase in aggressive behaviour in male while there is no increase in aggressiveness in female. Adult’s male has more physical and verbal aggression in doing something and has low measure of impulsivity with lack of frustration tolerance. This means that male tend to solve problems by using physical contact and aggression than discuss and talk to each other. This aggressiveness problem will raise in male that abuse anabolic steroid even though before he abuses it the man was a very tolerance and prefer to use communication approach to solve a problem. This shows us that anabolic steroid can change man behaviour in aggressiveness. Scientifically, the anabolic steroid cause same effect such as testosterone hormone in male which increase the aggressiveness of a man while the testosterone hormone do not produce aggressiveness in female. These explain why female do not show increase in aggressiveness when they abuse anabolic steroid. In an investigation that had been done by scientist in America to prisoners in Baraga Maximum Correctional Facility (AMF) (Baraga, MI), Michigan ,America  found that  prisoners who had committed crime of violence such as rape and murder had higher testosterone levels than prisoners who had committed crime of  burglary or theft . Prisoners with high testosterone levels often to violated prison rules.

Then the individual who abused anabolic steroid also face easiness to fall into depression which is a state of  low mood and aversion to activity that can affect a person's thoughts, behaviour, feelings and physical well-being. Depressed victim may feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, or restless. They may lose interest in activities that were once pleasurable, experience loss of appetite or overeating, or problems concentrating, remembering details or making decisions; and may contemplate or attempt suicide. This depression occur when the person stop taking anabolic steroid abruptly and this depression cause the victim to take the anabolic steroid again but with a higher dose to overcome the depression but the truth is the anabolic steroid will cause the victim to feel more depress. Scientifically, depression is associated with changes in substances in the brain (neurotransmitters) that help nerve cells communicate, such as serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine. These neurotransmitters can be influenced by anabolic steroid that alters this neurotransmitter. The victims may also suffer the worse condition of depression which is called dysthymia if the victim does not get proper treatment.

Furthermore, the victim may also feel sense of guilty, suspicions and becomes more aware of the surroundings. We choose females because most of this symptom’s victim is female users of anabolic steroid. She will become more sensitive to her surrounding and feel that everyone that watches her hates her. She will think that everything that others do is to provoke her. She will turn in a person that hate others and start to stop believing her friends because she thinks that they may betray her. Then she becomes an antisocial person that prefers to stay alone by herself. This condition may lead to depression and she may become a victim of ‘roid rage’.

Last but not least the victims will always feel that his or her body image is bad such as too fat and less muscular. These disorders of body image rise from the reason the victim use the anabolic steroid which is to increase his or her muscle and burn more fats to produce a better result in competition. If their body image is in good shape they will feel unsatisfied and lead those to diet and exercise frequent than normal routine. The worse condition the victims suffer is anorexia nervosa, bulimia and their body become less energetic since the assumption of energy is not enough for vital body components to function such as kidney that needs more energy to separate the toxic from the intake of anabolic steroid this may lead to malfunction of vital body organs.

However, the anabolic steroid also has its good effect to human psychologically. Most of the public think anabolic steroid only gives negative effect to human because of the media that always publish article that blame anabolic steroid as a source of violence crime. The truth is anabolic steroid may give positive effect to human psychologically if the amount of the dose is being controlled.

Among the positive effects are the increases of chance to win in a game since the users of anabolic steroid will become more aggressive and motivated to win the game. Especially the game that involve physical contact among players such as rugby, American football, hockey ice or weightlifters which require the person give his best strength and effort throughout the game. The increase in aggressiveness will make the players more strong and energetic than usual. Then anabolic steroid will make the players to build more muscle, more stamina and more focus during the training. This will make the players performs better in competition and increase their chance to win the match. The players also have high motivation because they think they are strong since they use the anabolic steroid during their practise. However the dose of the anabolic steroid must be controlled carefully by the coach to prevent any players from abusing the drugs.

Then another positive effects is the person will become more cheerful or in medical term euphoria. Euphoria is defined as an intense state of happiness combined with an overwhelming sense of contentment. Euphoria is generally considered to be an exaggerated psychological state, induced by the use of psychoactive drugs such as anabolic steroid and not typically achieved during the normal course of human experience. A study showed that runners exhibited high levels of anabolic steroid binding to opioid receptors within several regions of the brain, mostly frontal regions involved with positive emotions. This analysis also showed that the subjective euphoric level of an individual runner directly corresponded with the amount of mental activity that occurred within the brain. This study didn't prove that anabolic steroid is the sole cause of euphoric experience caused by exercise, but was at least a greatly contributing factor.

An article of a real story of a wrestler that has consumed anabolic steroids below proves the negative effects of consuming it.

Chris Benoit
Chris Benoit Had Steroids, Other Drugs In His System At Time Of Murder-Suicide
Toxicology reports in the Chris Benoit murder-suicide case indicate that the former WWE champion had steroids and other drugs in his body at the time of the incident, according to the chief medical investigator at the Georgia Bureau of Investigation. The reports also determine that Benoit's 7-year-old son, Daniel, was sedated with Xanax when he was killed.

Those were among findings announced on Tuesday (July 17) by the GBI at a press conference in Decatur, Georgia. And while they provided another piece of the puzzle surrounding the case, they did not prove whether steroids were connected to the killings or offer up any conclusions as to why Benoit murdered his wife and child before taking his own life at their Fayetteville, Georgia, home last month.

"I would not say these findings do not [provide any answers]," GBI chief medical investigator Chris Sperry told reporters. "These results give answers as far as being able to say that Daniel Benoit was sedated at the time he was murdered — that's an unusual finding. Other than that, they don't reveal anything at all."

Many had speculated that Benoit killed his wife and son in a fit of " 'roid rage," something that the discovery of "elevated levels" of testosterone in his body would seemingly lend credence to. But Sperry dismissed that deduction.
"This level of usage is fairly common with someone who has chronic pain. It's therapeutic usage ... there was no evidence of the laundry list of anabolic steroids out there," he said. "All I can rely on is scientific data, and what that information says is that no one really knows [if steroid usage led to the murders]. It's an unanswerable question."

Benoit's former employer, World Wrestling Entertainment, released a statement acknowledging that while levels of testosterone were found in the wrestler's body, he had passed a WWE-mandated drug test in April — meaning that he had begun injecting testosterone without the organization's knowledge.
"WWE understands that the toxicology reports for Chris Benoit indicate that he tested positive for testosterone and negative for anabolic steroids. On Mr. Benoit's last drug test in April 2007 administered by Aegis Labs, he tested negative for anabolic steroids and for testosterone," the statement read in part. "Given the toxicology report of GBI released today, it would appear that Mr. Benoit took testosterone sometime [between] his April 2007 test and the time he died."

The toxicology report also revealed that Benoit had Xanax and the painkiller hydrocodone in his body. Benoit's wife Nancy had three drugs in her system at the time of her death — hydrocodone, hydromorphone (a byproduct of her body's breakdown of the hydrocodone) and Xanax — though all of those were found at a therapeutic level. Her blood alcohol level was .18, though it wasn't clear whether that level was due to ingestion of alcohol or her body's decomposition process.

Sperry also added that there was no evidence of human-growth hormone in any of the three bodies, which seems to debunk rumors that Benoit had been giving his son HGH to combat Fragile X syndrome. He added that an autopsy revealed that Daniel had needle marks on his arms, though it's unclear what those marks were the result of Griffin County District Attorney Scott Ballard, also on hand for the press conference, added that while the toxicology results are just another "aspect" of the investigation surrounding the Benoit case, and that — despite what most within the Fayette County Sheriff's Department believe to be true — the case is still open.

"Fayette County is still investigating, but everything leads us to believe that this was a murder-suicide," Ballard said. "Each investigation has many aspects to it, and this is just one of those aspects."

Therefore, it can be whole together concluded that anabolic steroids bring more harm than good. It causes severe effects both physically and psychologically on users that may even lead to fatality. Hence, anabolic steroids should not be abused.


In a nutshell, the question to use or not to use is a personal one. Its answer though should be preceded by talking to a doctor, a trainer, a nutritionist, and even a user of steroids. We must know that it is important for  humans not to take the things that are illegal for us. Just like in the Hadith that issued by Abu Dawud in Sunan, the Messenger. have said:

Verily, Allah sent down the diseases, and made medicines for each disease, so you should all seek, and do not seek the things that are illegal.

Moreover any men, women and teens should consider when the negative side effects when taking anabolic steroids such as the physical effects; headache and stomach ache, rapid weight gain, yellowing of the skin, swelling in the feet and legs, shakes and tremors due to decreased in joint flexibility, body odour, acne breakouts damage of liver and kidney, increase in blood pressure and cholesterol increasing chances of heart disease, depressed immune system increasing risk for infection, might even cause severe nosebleed, low sperm motility and lowered sperm counts production in testes, be increased growth of facial and body hair, male pattern balding and they will also face decreased breast size. Furthermore, they also will face the psychological effects like euphoria, confusion, sleeping disorders, pathological anxiety, paranoia, and hallucinations, aggressiveness, and many more.

In order they may face all of these negative consequences, the anabolic steroids users also may give positive effect to human psychologically if the amount of the dose is being controlled. The positive effects are increased the chance to win in a game since the users of anabolic steroid will become more aggressive and motivated to win the game and will become more cheerful or in medical term euphoria.

 We must do more research since the data that have been got from previous study about anabolic steroids show different result. In some journals, there are only a few of information about the affection of anabolic steroid against women. Information concerning the legitimate adverse physical and behavioural effects of steroids is often inaccurate and wildly speculative. We cannot judge and estimate the side effects on women if lack of research or the research is only tested to men users.

O you who have believed, do not approach prayer while you are intoxicated until you know what you are saying or in a state of janabah, except those passing through [a place of prayer], until you have washed [your whole body]. And if you are ill or on a journey or one of you comes from the place of relieving himself or you have contacted women and find no water, then seek clean earth and wipe over your faces and your hands [with it]. Indeed, Allah is ever Pardoning and Forgiving [Surah An’Nisa ; 43]

Based on the above Quran verse, it is clearly stated that a muslim that worship Allah as the only God and believe on the five pillars of the Islam, we should not consume any kind of drugs that may lead us to intoxicated which includes anabolic steroids.

Furthermore, Allah states clearly in Quran that mankind should never harm himself eventhough to bring good benefit. For instance, an atlethe should not abuse the anabolic steroid to win any competition since drug would bring him/her to destruction;

Surah Al-Baqarah, verse 195 – means;
“Do not throw yourselves into destruction”

Referring to a Surah from Al-Quran, it can be explained clearly that drugs,anabolic streroids are prohibited in Islam.

Surah Al-Baqarah. Verse : 172-173
Believers, eat from the good things that We have given you and give thanks to God if you worship only Him. God has forbidden you to eat that which has not been properly slaughtered, blood, pork and the flesh of any animal which has not been consecrated with a mention of the Name of God. However, in an emergency, without the intention of transgression or repeating transgression, one will not be considered to have committed a sin. God is All-forgiving and All-Merciful.

According to the first part of the verse above, God ordered Muslims to take only the things that bring goodness to them. This shows anabolic steroids that bring more harm than good must be avoided by Muslims.
The second part of the verse, simply explains about what God has forbidden to all Muslims from taking any harmful things. This also refers to anabolic steroids that are harmful to human as they can cause negative effects that can lead to fatality. Hence, it is an obligation for all the Muslims to stay away from any kind of dangerous drugs including anabolic steroids.

 In brief, it is clear that anabolic steroids are forbidden from the perspective of Islam because it brings so much negative effects to the users. Hence, all of us should avoid from consuming anabolic steroids.



  1. http://www.vanderbilt.edu/ans/psychology/health_psychology/anabolic_steroids.htm
  2. http://www.medicinenet.com/anabolic_steroid_abuse/page3.htm
  3. http://www.sportsci.org/encyc/anabstereff/anabstereff.html#2
  4. http://www.egetgoing.com/drug_rehab/steroids.asp
  5. http://www.steroid-abuse.org/side-effects-teens.htm
  6. http://www.peelregion.ca/health/commhlth/bodyimg/steroid.htm
  7. http://www.isteroids.com/physical_effects_of_steroids.html


  1. Alen, M., P. Rahkila. Anabolic-androgenic steroid effects on endocrinology and metabolism in athletes. Sports Med. 6: 327-332, 1988
  2. Haupt, H.A. Anabolic steroids and growth hormone. Am. J. Sports Med. 21(3): 468- 474, 1993
  3. Wilson, J.D. Androgen abuse in athletes. Endocr. Rev. 9(2): 181-199, 1988


  1. Brower, K.J., Blow, F.C., Young, J.P. and Hill, E.M. (1991). Symptoms and correlates of anabolic-androgenic steroid dependence. British Journal of Addiction, 86, 759-768.
  2. Bahrke, M.S., Wright, J.E., O'Connor, J.S. et al. (1990). Selected psychological characteristics of anabolic-androgenic steroid users. New England journal of Medicine, 323, 834-835.

Sebenarnya ni Assignment Biology aku

Kena kait dengan Islam. Ya lah, UIA~

Aku buat dengan kawan-kawan

Rasa macam rugi pulak kalau tak kongsi.

Sapa rajin, baca la.

Dan aku pasti kamu tak berminat.
Dan tak akan ada orang komen sebab pasti boring.

Aku redha~

Muhammad Faris 'Azim

Video YouTube yang lawak - lah kot

Youtube memang boleh buat seseorang jadi famous. Famous sefamousnya. Macam Yuna, Ana Rafalli dan Najwa Latif. Tak terlepas jugak vlogger terkemuka seperti Mat Lutfi, Anwar Hadi dan Maria Elena. Dan terdapat banyak kot video YouTube yang boleh untuk kita tengok. Sebab boleh jugak isi masa lapang sambil tengok YouTube. OK la, main point aku nak cakap, kita mesti tak terlepas nak tengok video lawak. Kan. Kan?? Bagi aku, nak hasilkan video yang lawak tak semestinya kena buat perkara-perkara bodoh macam dalam cerita Alamak Toyol. Sebab cerita tu lebih banyak buat benda bodoh yang bajet lawak tapi tak lawak langsung.

Video pertama : OAG SBPIKP

Tak tau lah. Dekat mana yang lawak. Tapi, aku rasa lawak sebab ada Mat Lutfi yang famous tu. dan pada waktu tu aku rasa dia sangat tak matured pada waktu tersebut. Tengok muka dia dan penampilan dia dibandingkan dengan vlog-vlog dia pada waktu ini. Lagipun, aku rasa lawak sebab dia dahulu senior sekolah aku dibandingkan dengan perwatakan dia dekat sekolah. Memang macam apa lagi. Sebab lah tu kot video ni OAG SBPIKP. SBPI Kubang Pasu sekolahku~

Kedua : Price Tag (Google Translate = Tag Harga) - Encik Mimpi

Serius. Video ni buat perut aku macam apa lagi. Sebab aku layan jugak lagu Price Tag ni. So, bila ada orang alih bahasa lagu ni. Aku rasa macam lawak la. Dan tersangat lawak. Tambah-tambah yang part. Cha Cing, Cha Ching. Macam apa lagi

Ketiga : Goolate : Mahu Anda Di Sini (Wish You Were Here) - Encik Mimpi (Avril Lavigne)

Lagu ni jugak lawak sebab dia alih bahasa. Dia lawak sebab lagu ni agak laju dalam Bahasa Inggeris, dan bila laju dalam Bahasa Inggeris mesti lah lagi laju dalam Bahasa Melayu. Dah macam rap lagi aku dengar tapi tak jadi rap sebab dia masih ikut rentak slow lagu ni. Yang paling aku rasa macam bodoh apabila dia sebut Sialan, Sialan, Sialan.

Keempat : Matlutfi90

Aku tak la boleh nak katakan yang semua video ni lawak. Tapi, kebanyakannya sangat lawak dan buat aku teringat bila sesuatu terjadi. Bagi aku, video Anwar Hadi macam tak lawak sangat sebab dia macam lebih konservatif. Tapi, masih best lagi la. :)

Dan aku rasa berjuta-juta lagi video yang lawak yang ada. 
Amat mustahilah bagi aku untuk masukkan semua video di sini. 
Ini adalah antara pandangan dan pendapat aku. 
Aku yakin yang kamu pasti ada lagi banyak video yang lawak untuk dikongsi bersama. 

Muhammad Faris 'Azim


Cartoon | Harga barang

Salah siapa?

  • Salah penjual sebab salah faham apa yang pembeli sebut?
  • Salah pembeli sebab salah sama seperti apa yang abang pemotong ikan tu?
  • Salah pemotong ikan sebab tak sebut betul-betul?

Mana satu yang salah?

Muhammad Faris 'Azim

Cerpen | Tersesat di Hari Esok (Last part)

“Assalamualaikum… Cepat bukak pintu ni” gesa orang yang berada di luar pintu. Berulang-ulang. Semakin kuat dari semasa ke semasa.

Pintu itu dipecahkan oleh orang yang berada di luar pintu itu. Pecah.  Danial dan Malik terkejut. Tak sempat mereka menyarungkan pakaian mereka itu. Ditangkap oleh ustaz sekolah bersama-sama beberapa orang pelajar. Mungkin perbuatan mereka telah terdedah dan dapat dihidu oleh beberapa orang palajar.

Danial dan Malik berasa sungguh malu. Malu kepada semua orang, malu kerana perbuatan mereka. Malu kepada semua wanita yang pernah tergila-gilakan ketampanan mereka. Rasa seperti disimbahkan asid ke muka mereka sahaja. Rasa seperti mahu menghilangkan diri dari situ dengan segera sahaja. Biarlah mereka berdua hilang agar kemahuan mereka untuk bersama dapat dilaksanakan. Namun, semua impian mereka nampaknya hancur.

Abah Malik dipanggil pihak sekolah. Malik dan Danial dibuang sekolah serta merta. Ya, serta-merta. Malik dimarahi dengan teruk sekali dengan abahnya. Rasa kecewa dan sedih akan sikap Malik menimpa abahnya. Rasa seperti tidak pernah dihargai setiap keringat yang pernah abahnya curahkan kepada Malik. Malik tidak dapat berkata apa-apa. Tidak dapat berkata walaupun sepatah kepada abahnya. Marah benar abahnya kepada Malik.

        “Malik! Apa yang kau dah buat ni??” marah Encik Azhar kepada Malik
        “Malik,, erm..”
        “Dah la, abah tak pernah ajar anak abah lagi benda macam ni. Apa yang Malik mintak, semuanya abah bagi”
        “Tak, Malik bukan nak benda tu, tapi… “
        “Dah! Abah tak nak dengar apa-apa alasan dari Malik lagi. Dah jangan ada apa-apa lagi hubungan dengan jantan tak guna tu. Esok kita pergi daftar sekolah baru! Faham?! “

Danial? Tiada siapa lagi dalam hidupnya yang dapat memarahi sikapnya. Tiada siapa juga yang boleh menegur tingkah lakunya. Biarlah, walaupun dia dibuang sekolah, harta arwah bapanya juga sudah cukup untuk menampung kehidupan dia. Ditambah lagi dengan aset berjuta-juta ringgit. Tak akan pernah habis dimakan dia seorang. Sebenarnya, Danial berasa kehilangan. Ya, kehilangan seorang teman yang benar-benar menyayanginya. Tidak pernah dia berasa bahagia sepertimana dia bersama Malik. Ya, kebahagiaan Danial disentap. Ditarik begitu sahaja.

Malam itu, Danial memberanikan diri. Memberanikan diri cuba menghantar pesanan ringkas kepada Malik. Ya, berhati-hati supaya abah Malik tidak dapat mengesan hubungan mereka itu. Mengambil langkah selamat dengan tidak menlefon Malik. Supaya Malik tidak dimarahi abahnya lagi.
        “Malik, kau tengah buat apa” Danial menghantar pesanan ringkas (SMS) kepada Malik
        “Tak buat apa-apa. Cuma sedang kemas barang nak pindah ke sekolah baru esok”
        “Dah nak pindah? Aku macam mana? Kau tak kesian dekat aku?”
        “Aku bukan tak kesian dekat kau. Tapi, abah aku. Dah la, kau jangan ikut aku pindah ke sekolah yang sama. Nanti mengamuk lagi pulak abah aku”
        “Tak. Tak boleh. Kita tak boleh berpisah. Dah, esok jom ikut aku. Kita tinggal di luar negara. Tak akan ada sesiapa yang boleh kacau kita nanti”
        “Tapi, abah aku macam mana?” balas Malik
        “Aku tak boleh tinggalkan kau. Kta tak boleh berpisah. Jom la ikut aku. Harta arwah ayah aku cukup nak menampung kita berdua. Tak payah risau pasal ayah kau. Boleh saja dia nak hidup tanpa kau. Aku sangat perlukan kau. Tolonglah”

Pesanan ringkas Danial itu Malik tinggalkan tanpa balasan. Dia masih runsing. Runsing untuk memilih di antara abahnya ataupun Danial. Ya, pilihannya haruslah tepat. Tepat untuk menentukan masa hadapannya. Memilih untuk terus sesat atau hidup dalam kebenaran bersama abahnya.


Keesokkan harinya. Encik Azhar bangun seperti biasa. Bersiap-siap untuk menghantar Malik ke sekolah barunya. Namun, tiba-tiba pelannya hancur apabila terdapat surat yang ditinggalkan di hadapan pintu biliknya.

“Abah, maafkan Malik. Jangan cari Malik. Biar Malik bawa haluan Malik sendiri”

Berkaca pipi Encik Azhar. Sedih kerana Malik sangup meninggalkan dia. Meninggalkan dia kerana Danial. Jantan tak guna pada pandangan Encik Azhar.


Bahagia. Itulah sahaja perasaan Malik dan Danial berada di negara orang. Ya, mendedahkan hubungan mereka tanpa dimarahi oleh sesiapa pun. Tiada siapa yang boleh menghalang perbuatan jijik mereka. Tanpa  sebarang gangguan. Mereka hidup dengan mewah. Hidup mewah dengan harta Danial. Menggunakan harta arwah Dato Azmi dengan sepuas-puasnya.

Mereka juga membuka perniagaan. Membuka perniagaan untuk tidak mengharapkan sepenuhnya kepada harta Danial semata-mata. Untuk masa depan yang lebih gemilang. Ya, untuk berjaya dengan usaha sendiri.

Sudah lama mereka meninggalkan Malaysia. Bertahun-tahun lamanya. Peniagaan mereka juga semakin maju. Semuanya hasil titik peluh Danial dan Malik. Hingga sudah pun ingin membuka cawangan baru. Namun, seperti ada sesuatu yang masih belum dicapainya mereka. Ya, mereka sudah ada nama, wang, harta daan segalanya-galanya. Tapi, mereka masih mencari sesuatu yang benar. Yang betul. Yang diredhai dan diberkati. Entah. Mereka masih mencari.


Suatu hari. Malik berperangai sangat pelik. Ya, pelik seanehnya. Muka Malik suram, pucat dan lesu. Hinggakan Malik tidak dapat memuaskan nafsu Danial. Tidak seperti sebelumnya. Danial cuba memujuk hati Malik untuk berkata-kata.
        “Malik, kau kenapa?”
Malik diam. Tidak menjawab sepatah kata. Walaupun satu perkataan. Danial cuba memaksa Malik untuk bercakap. Memaksa untuk memberitahu hal yang sebenarnya.

        “Malik, cakaplah!” kata Danial kepada Malik
        “Kau nak aku cakap sangat kan! Baik, aku cakap! Aku menghidap AIDS! Puas hati kau?”

Danial terdiam. Kaku. Terkesima dengan kata-kata Malik. Ya, terdiam kerana situasi yang dihadapinya. Terkejut kerana perbuatan mereka sebenarnya mengundang penyakit yang berbahaya itu. Ya, penyakit yang masih belum dijumpai penawarnya

“Danial, esok aku nak balik Malaysia. Kau janganlah cari aku lagi. Biar kita berpisah buat selama-lamanya. Tak guna kau nak jaga mayat hidup macam aku ni. Kau bawa lah haluan kau sendiri. Biar aku pergi dengan hidup aku. Sudahlah, biar hubungan kita berakhir di sini sahaja”

Danial pasrah. Danial sedih dengan keadaan temannya. Kerana hubungan mereka selama ini rupanya tidak pernah disukai. Ya, dihalang orang ramai pada ketika dahulu. Kini, dihalang dengan balasan Allah. Ya, azab Allah untuk temannya yang dicintai.

Malik berusaha untuk pulang ke Malaysia. Pulang dengan harapan untuk diterima seadanya.
        “Assalamualaikum… “ Malik cuba memberi salam ke sebuah rumah yang pernah dia tinggalkan dahulu
        “Wa’alaikumussalam. Ya, abang cari siapa?” seorang budak berumur dalam lingkungan 3 tahun membuka pintu rumah terbabit
        “Eh, ni bukan rumah Encik Azhar ke?”

Tiba-tiba Encik Azhar menyahut panggilan Malik bersama isterinya.
        “Ya Allah, Malik! Malik dah balik dah nak!” Abah Malik menyambut dengan hati yang terbuka sekali.
        “Abah, ampunkan Malik. Malik berdosa selama ini. Malik berdosa terhadap abah. Malik berdosa kepada Allah. Ampunkan Malik, Abah”
        “Abah tak pernah salahkan Malik, dah lama dah abah menunggu Malik pulang. Pulang untuk tidak terus sesat. Kerana abah yakin Malik mesti tidak akan sesat pada hari esok” balas Encik Azhar

Encik Azhar sudah pun berkahwin selama pemergian Malik. Sudah pun dikurniakan seorang cahaya mata. Malik akhirnya sudah menemui cahaya dan sinar untuk tidak terus sesat. Menemui apa yang dicarinya selama ini. Tidak terus sesat dan kembali kejalan yang benar. Kembali menebus dosa yang dilakukan dengan sisa masa yang ada sebelum penyakitnya datang menjemput maut. Kembali memohon keampunan dari Allah S.W.T. Namun, persoalannya. Bagaimana pula dengan Danial?


Danial murung. Ya, sedih dengan pemergian Malik. Hidup Danial tidak pernah terurus. Semuanya kusut masai. Rumahnya berterabur. Penuh dengan botol arak. Gelap. Hidup Danial kelam. Hitam disebabkan kehilangan Malik. Makan, pakai dan minumnya seperti hidup segan mati tak mahu. Seperti mayat hidup sahaja keadaan Danial
Tiba-tiba. Ada orang yang mengetuk pintu rumah Danial
        “Assalamualaikum.. Encik! Encik! Ada orang dekat rumah tak?” panggil seorang wanita yang bertudung litup. Bermuka manis sekali. Berlesung pipit dan wajahnya penuh dengan Nur.

Panggilan wanita itu tidak pernah dijawab Danial. Ya, walaupun sekali. Akhirnya wanita itu memutuskan untuk melihat keadaan isi rumah tersebut. Kerana hampir seminggu rumah tidak pernah orang yang keluar masuk dari situ.

        “Astaghfirullahalazim. Encik kenapa ni. Apa yang sudah terjadi ni?”

Danial tidak menyedarkan dirinya. Wanita tersebut segera memanggil ambulans untuk membawa Danial ke hospital.  Terus merawat Danial. Terus merubah Danial utnuk meneruskan kehidupan. Ya, bersama-sama wanita yang baru sahaja menemuinya. Adakah, ini adalah hantaran Tuhan untuk merubah hidup Danial dari terus sesat. Ya, wanita yang akan merubah dan membimbing hidupnya pada satu ketika nanti. Wanita yang akan membawa Danial pulang ke jalan Allah? Pulang agar tidak pernah sesat? Adakah semua itu bakal terjadi


        “Assalamualaikum. Ni abah Malik kan? Encik Azhar?” Kata Danial kepada Encik Azhar. Tidak sengaja terserempak dengan abah Malik di sebuah pasar raya.
        “Ya, saya. Encik ini siapa pula?”
        “Erm. Saya Danial. Ini isteri saya.” Balas Danial kepada Encik Azhar.
        “Oh, Danial. Yang kawan arwah Malik tu kan?”
        “Ya, kawan Malik pada satu ketika dahulu”
        “Malik baru sahaja meninggal sebulan yang lepas. Maafkan pak cik sebab tak bagi tahu kamu. Pak Cik tak dapat nak contact kamu”
        “Tak pa lah pak cik. Saya faham”

Tiba-tiba air mata suci membasahi pipi Danial. Entah, tak tahu. Semuanya spontan. Tidak pernah dirancang. Hati Danial bagai pedih. Sedih seperti kehilangan seseorang.
        “Abang OK tak ni” tanya isteri Danial
        “Eh, abang OK saja. Abang tak apa-apa. Dah la jom. Kita pergi dari sini. Tak baik pula bakal ibu abang ni berdiri lama-lama ni”

        “MAAFKAN AKU MALIK!” hati Danial memberontak untuk berkata-kata.


Muhammad Faris 'Azim


Orators' League vs KDBM

Orators' League masa dekat SBPIKP

Aku tengok balik album lama-lama facebook aku. Dan aku baru perasan ada satu gambar yang mata dan muka aku memang teruk gila. Teruk sebab menangis yang paling dasyat dalam sejarah debat sebab kalah dengan Sekolah Tunku Abdul Rahman (STAR), Ipoh buat kali ketiga berturut-turut. Ya, pertama masa dekat suku akhir Interschool Debating Championship, kedua masa dekat HKSBP Zon Utara 2009. Dan kali ketiga masa dekat HKSBP Zon Utara 2010. Ya, gambar lepas kalah. Merah kot mata dan muka aku. Tak terlepas jugak Rosman Razif sebab dia teriak sama-sama aku. Pedih yang amat sangat. Allah saja yang tahu. Tapi, diubati dengan Coklat Fererer Roshe Safuan Sabri. Terubat la sangat~.

Tapi, di sebalik gambar ni. Ada kawan-kawan aku. Ya, yang duduk sebelah kanan aku la ni dah ada kat USA dah. Dok tengah main salji siap, dan ada Solihin yang dah ada kat Mesir dan 2 orang kawan aku yang masing-masing nak pergi ke Poland dengan Australia.  Dan aku hanya dapat peluang sambung dekat UIA. CFS IIUMRezeki masing-masing.

KDBM masa dekat CFS IIUM

Bila dah masuk UIA. Aku cuba rezeki dengan masuk Kelab Debat Bahasa Melayu. Ya, aku masuk. Dan gambar yang atas memberitahu segala-galanya. Serius. Debat bukan sekadar lagak yang nak tunjuk dekat orang yang kita pandai cakap. Debat dapat megubah segala-galanya. Sebab aku rasa bila aku masuk debat, Aku terpaksa ambil tahu pasal isu semasa dan aku dapat faedah sebab tak payah beli surat khabar nak baca tiap-tiap hari. Aku rasa macam-macam. kamu kena join debat sebab faedahnya sangat banyak. Membantu banyak dari pelbagai jenis aspek. Cubalah.

Sebab aku masih sayang Orators' League dan KDBM

Tak ada apa yang nak tulis pun
Cuma tertarik nak kongsi gambar yang paling atas tu 

Muhammad Faris 'Azim

Wordless | Politik dan Agama


Muhammad Faris 'Azim